Mumbai 2 nights 3 days [ 4 th oct - 6 oct 2009]

Three hours of sleep and finally an alarm "trin trin". I woke up and its 3 a.m., darkness every where and for me its as challenging to catch my Mumbai flight at 6 am from Delhi. I swear, next time not at all going to board any flight in the early hours of morning. After more than a year I was at Delhi airport and its completely transformed with a new departure terminal and very modern infrastructure. After getting my boarding pass I walked around to have a look at the interiors and went into each shop almost and even bought a Ganesha. There was also a very large screen television which i liked a lot. Flight was on time and on the flight my main worry was finding a decent hotel. jUHU ISKCON I always stay at but I was more worried if i will get a room . Its a place in Mumbai which has everything in terms of decent pricing, great food, great interiors, helpful staff and peaceful, spiritual environment.

Flight landed and I made a call to ISKCON and I got a room for 2 days but I could check-in only after 12 pm or I had to pay for one more extra day for only 3 hours occupancy so had to change my clothes in a bathroom and in the corridor of first floor of the ISKCON. I told myself " its a gods place and so no inhibitions because he knows me best. I didn't feel bad about it because I have seen many tough days when I was young and in last many years I have developed my thinking for being a perfectionist in every possible way. Egos and attitudes are something that every person needs to win over or they win over you. Its more satisfying when I can afford 5 star but still can manage with a corridor & toilet without any tantrum. When people don't understand money, status, and themselves then their wealth always goes down the drain with short lived show-off lifestyle..
I kept my luggage at the reception counter and carried only my laptop for my meeting for which I was in Mumbai but I stopped at the gate because it was raining . Hotel staff helped me with a plastic bag to cover my laptop and finally in rain I went on the road for a taxi. It was quite a surprise and I was happy that meeting venue was just 5 minutes aways from ISKCON.

Meeting I won't write much about but it was a good communication with good people. After meeting they got me dropped to Iskcon. I was too tired so after lunch I went to sleep and later in the night after sumptuous, delicious buffet dinner, I watched Rab ne bana di jodi on my laptop.

Next day again I had my meeting but this time at Lokhandwala and today it was raining heavily and I felt it was impossible going out. For a moment I thought of calling those people and say my real excuse but suddenly something hit my thought. I always told people never give excuses in life and today it was for me to prove that. I decided I am going and anyhow. Next 15 minutes I waited for taxi on the road under a torn umbrella through which rain kept pouring on me. I got 20 minutes late due to traffic jams in the rain but I was happy I made it. I had my meeting with 3 people but each at a time and I know it was a truly a learning experience and I made every effort to gain from each meeting session. I tried to be my real self and not any professional robot.

Later at 7 pm Sri dropped me to Infinity mall in Versova where I walked in and around the mall and even watched a movie called "wanted". I even saw two TV stars in the mall and felt thrilled and one I saw at Iskcon's restaurant though I am not a person who rushes to see celebs. Next day Sri's driver delivered my laptop that I left in the car last night. Sri I liked quite a lot for warmth. I payed the bills and was almost on the verge of checking out that I bumped into a guy called Bhisma, he was truly a gentleman, he cared for me within that short span like someone my own with water, chocolates and cashew nuts. I would say truly like his name BHISHMA because even in Mahabharta it was mostly Bhishma Pitaamah who influenced me with his extraordinary forte of sacrifices and loving nature. We chatted almost for 1 hour and his parents were also there who told me that its great that at such young age I am chairman of a firm. He was from Washington USA and it was more satisfying to see that he cared for his parents too much even after being in United states. Here I would say " Please so many of seriously confused Indians who disown their parents , learn something from such people and go and say "I love you maa, I love you paa".

Before leaving Iskcon I went to temple and saw god, smiled and talked to him inside my heart. Asked him always help people who are innocent and true because that will keep the faith alive else faith of humanity in the god will fall and gods existence will fall because its true humanity and true spirituality that holds back even god's heaven and his existence on earth in different forms. Finally walked out and get into a taxi for 35 bucks to Mumbai airport and there I flew back to New Delhi...........During this 1 month vacation of delhi-shimla-mumbai ,I spent more than a Lakh but earned happiness worth more than a crore...definitely not because of money but because of experiences on the way.........

A short trip, I would say truly "एक लम्हे में सिमट आया था सदियों का सफ़र, ज़िन्दगी तेज़ बहुत तेज़ चली हो जैसे" (english translation : Life was so beautiful that moments looked short and life seemed to ran so fast as if hundreds of years passed by in just few seconds..)

AFTER more than one and a half year I am away from my home, my people and truly wanted to be myself, that very fanatic, very childish who wanted to fly away to some far and quite land of eternal solitude, where life just becomes a celebration of joyful living with my own soul.
After my stay in Delhi's sophisticated ultramodern setup for last 20 days finally I decided to travel to serene Shimla hills and beyond that to fagu and kufri in search of my dream house and did managed to see some good properties and hopes of my future enchanting, peaceful life seems feasible now.

I booked ticket in Delhi-kalka- shatabdi and very early morning at 5am I left Delhi. On the road to railway station people were sleeping on streets and road dividers. I went into deeper thinking about life and its problems that so many people suffer and its painful at least for me watching all the misery around. Waiting for the train I noticed that my e -ticket didn't had my seat and coach number printed so got worried as how to search my seat and suddenly realised that I had screen captured images of ticket in my netbook, I hurriedly pulled out the netbook and got back my seat and coach number. I felt relaxed and at ease.

Boarded the train and and next to my seat was a guy seating who looked friendly and even he
smiled to me. I too smiled and said hello and we felt too comfortable talking as if we had known each for quite long time. He (Hitesh) told me he works in Microsoft in United States .. We guys kept discussing things and talking till he reached Chandigarh. We exchanged numbers and email ids . He left and from platform he looked back to say bye . What more one wants in this big bad world where people are so bad and artificial and practicality kills every soft emotion in every human being. I felt happy and saw my hope resurrected.

Train left Chandigarh, chair car cabin looked empty and I felt nice because I don't like lot of crowd but during this time I noticed a person sad and tired who served tea and food to everyone in the train. he came to me and asked me if I need anything and he was extra polite and sweet with continuous smile amalgamated with sadness. He took a seat behind me and I asked him to come and seat besides me. He hurriedly came smiling and I asked him why he is so sad looking as if frustrated with the whole world. He smiled and said " I made every effort to serve people what they wanted, from newspapers to food but few people behave so badly that I feel very low and tired of all this." I told him that didn't I noticed his hard work and his smile too. Serious and genuine efforts never go unnoticed and someday it certainly gets appreciation. I asked him (Krishna raane)not to feel sad because of few insensitive people. I felt I gave him hope and his happiness made me happy that at least I made some one happy. I called him a "Dost". I always knew that its not status of people that makes me talk to them but its their hearts, simplicity and emotions that attracts me.

Train stopped at Kalka station and I walked giving a deeper look to toy train as if wanting to ride the train till Shimla. There outside I got a van for rs 1200 and finally me and the driver drove up hill roads to Shimla. Music from the car stereo and add to that beautiful surroundings of Himachal made me sing few lines of song " waadiyan mera daaman ,raaste meri baahein , jao mere siva tum kahan jaaoge". In the car it was me and driver only and it was truly worth paying 1200 rs. I almost felt being transferred to era of 70s and 80s movies of Rajesh khanna. I felt very filmy and romantic with my own self.

I paid for drivers lunch though he kept insisting that I don't pay but I told him that I am happy doing it because he again resurrected my hopes that better people still exist. We guys discussed many things and till shimla I felt I was with my friend, its vibrations that I feel from people and act on that and also its about finding right people which mostly happens to me. I thank god for always being so sweet to me.
In shimla I walked till lower areas of Mall road and felt really tired because it was after so many months that finally I am walking so much. It was Gulmarg hotel where I changed almost 3 rooms until I liked one and even warned reception guy that he provide me with a room with window facing valley.

I took bath and changed my clothes and left the hotel in the evening to Mall road in search of ATM to withdraw money. MALL road was full of people from offices, tourists , local girls and boys and bazaar was as usual happening. I found the ATM and there my money went back inside the machine and felt so confused as what to do. Bank was open and I found asst. managers(Nikhil, Pawan) from my place who made me very comfortable and even wrote an application for me and assured me that my money will be transferred back to my account by next day. He was thrilled to see a guy from his place in Shimla all alone. He even asked me why I am here and he didn't liked mountains and so even suggested me not to find a house here.
I was equally happy finding right people on my trip. First day on mall road I was walking alone not knowing that suddenly for next few days I will have company of some friends. He asked me to come to bank in the evening the other day. I went to the bank the next evening and later had dinner together and we did it until I left Shimla. I am an emotional person and so it was obvious I get attached to sweet people and I almost tried to give him hope in true sense when he shared some of his very private disasters with me. I asked him to be very strong and never lose hope. We discussed things as if we were old buddies and days spent with them made me feel as if for long time I have been in Shimla.
I took a taxi next day for Fagu to look for the property and on road to Fagu, views were just magical, it was clean and quite and cold. Shimla I never liked too much because its badly polluted and huge crowd suffocates me. Faagu provided much of a relief . Here, I did what I came for and again later next day I visited Fagu with another group of real estate guys. Two guys were young and we got together very well more as friends. We almost had lot of "masti" and blast on the way and I told him to drop me to Kalka station. I said what I pay to taxi ,I will pay to him too. I knew people work hard and friendship doesnt mean I use someone in the garb of relationships. Shimla to Kalka was very amazing journey. Not for once I felt I am with wrong people. I took them to Coffee Cafe day on the way and had Cappuchinos. We all made it clear to each other that we are friends even if the property deal doesn't happen and on Kalka station they wanted to come to platform to say good bye but I said , "its fine, you guys leave " and it was really a moment that makes me think that really we all have love and feelings for even strangers but either we don't realise it or kill this whole emotional aspect.

In train again I found myself in the same coach where Krishna rane served, he came to me smiling as usual and he looked almost attached to me. He gave me the food tray and I ate, he sat beside me, I told him I don't eat sandwiches and really didn't eat much since morning. He left without saying anything and brought me extra "samosa" and tried to give me one more food tray but I was almost full so I didn't eat more. he cared for me on the whole journey till Delhi, even people around looked at me that I was being taken care of so much. I asked him not to show extra attention to me like I am privileged.

Train arrived Delhi and before leaving I gave him 100 rs thinking that its not a tip because "tip" will ruin this whole feeling of emotions that I have for him. In real I don't give tip in hotels or anywhere. I considered him as a friend and someone my own and gave him my card and told him you will always be a friend irrespective of what you do or what you are.

I walked out and took an auto rickshaw and again that auto driver resurrected my hope that people still think so much about others pain . After I commented on how people were being almost dragged to the dhabas as if they have to eat in those dhabas or they will be murdered. He told me he feels sad when he cannot help people from Bihar and UP who he sees everyday being tortured by goon like rough dhaba owners opposite Delhi railway station. I told him what more beautiful I need to end my this short trip than a sensitive young autowala with his so emotional observations about life. His life is an everyday struggle for survival and peoples abusive words are his everyday sweet songs and harshness of life kills such people every moment. My words made him feel good and I could see stars in his eyes that people have after some recognition.

I finally reached home and took a deep breath because I knew my magical, fantasy kind of journey has ended and I am back in the real world with real bad people around me. I would say "thanks god" for making my trip a trip that felt if I was in that short time zone for quite long time and met best of people, smiled throughout and got best of experiences to cherish for long and feel nostalgic when I look back. wows..but good things come to an end too.
While climbing the stairs I murmured lines from Jagjit singh's ghazal from a movie tum bin "एक लम्हे में सिमट आया था सदियों का सफ़र, ज़िन्दगी तेज़ बहुत तेज़ चली हो जैसे" Perfection in their happiness people rarely achieve ever. I did.

NAT GEO. JAILED ABROAD - a virtual experience that SHUDDERS

I have been a TV buff all these years because I almost had no friends and being a loner, it proved a great comrade. I watch so many things of different kind but it is this one program " jailed abroad" on Nat Geo that made me much more sensitive and gave me insight and understanding of people living in this dark lost world away from the bustling world of everyday.

It was here where I learned as how it feels when people really understand what it means to have even a single real support in bad times, what it feels when innocent people fall to traps of dark world where smuggle of gold in NEPAL, or drugs in PERU or BANGLADESH is a daily affair. How all this ruins so many lives and years of innocent people where they are trapped and find no helping hand in an alien country far far away from their home land and loved ones. How people endanger themselves for short lived thrill and excitement even after knowing the truth of the situation.

I would say its a program worth watching and its something which is better when its viewed. I will really not go to length on writing about it but even if i wrote than its more because its something that really moved me inside, whether its situations of people or situations of jails in the countries of this world. Few things that I wanted to write here about convicts life or walls or toilets or officers of jail but I can't write due to highly degradable and inhuman aspects. I remember when two foreigners were released after 2 years, think and imagine their happiness when they saw sun and busy road and city after years. I mean few things only they can feel who are in the situation because their situation is not like every ones and besides those people trapped are not real hardcore criminals.. as what rightly said one of the old lady who helped two girls to return back to their homes. She said " they are not criminals, they have been used by criminals"

ya seriously if many more people be like that old lady then many lost souls and forgotten loved ones can return to their homelands and loved ones. Such behaviour and humanity resurrects hope and cleans fallen dark hearts. I know punishment is must for wrong but law of countries world over has some very blurring lines which never understands what real criminals and fallen angels means.

RESURRECTION of LOST HOPE

I was on terrace and obviously that's the time when I am most with myself, analysing my days work, behaviour all and also what really affected me whole day in both positive and negative way. Its one and half year now that my so much real and courageous feelings of sacrifices related to everything around me really gave me deep insight into the working of these different aspects that we all come
across in our lives.

It affect each one of us in a different way bcas our situations, our outlook on issues, our ways of dealing with those issues varies and certainly each individual is not that competent and so fall is the major part of such situations where depressions, frustrations, hatred and self pity really becomes unavoidable.

I have been a person of extreme emotions on two ends and wanted long time before to see if these relationships will work or not if I deny all and just be a mere sacrificial statue though sacrificing is my forte when its about my loved ones and when I do it it gives a sense of fulfillment but I don't allow people for long to think that its my weakness. When I react I makes head turn I make everyone feel the heat.

Two days back I wanted to write blog when I read an article in Hindustan newspaper where it was a real good analysis of sibling rivalry since ages of Mahabharata to recent times bigwigs like Amabanis or Mafatlal brothers or late Maharani Gayatri Devi's clan who were and are at clashes like clash of titans and that too for mere material things and unseen power which even cannot be carried away to another world and sustaining them in real world becomes a challenge. I wonder why don't we use the same zest, energy and dedication for our relationships.

After so much of thinking and looking at real life, real people and real problems i feel its still a silly thing, an immature act of foolish and degraded mind where hearts get buried deep under that huge pile of wealth and power.

Even when I did so much all these last many months, it did feel heavy, a burden, a suffocation and u know why bcas it wasn't that I was missing wealth or fame, it was only that when I stayed with my loved one's for so long continuously without any ifs and buts then I was taken for granted and people almost forgot me and my whole existence seemed dead and neglected. I felt that frustration but it was never for wealth or fame ever.

IT does happen because people know that this person is not going anywhere and that feeling of losing him or her someday just vanishes and so the qualities or even identity of the person vanishes and goes unrealised. Recently when I heard people talking good about me as how I get worried for them and even they accepted themselves that they are actually wrong, imagine at last winning that lost battle, its no Battle, but I used this term because for me sacrifices always meant a bigger approach and way to hold relationships back with that godly charm. MY love and big thinking didn't go unnoticed.

Imagine if sacrifices really don't make sense then mothers would never have reached that height of god because her sacrifices too go beyond imaginations. I would conclude my whole of this analysis BELOW

"Sacrifices and extreme love for your own loved ones is as great as god himself, if you are that true then god is just walking with you, He never lets you fall, did I
fall?, no. Everyone is here to hold me back and then god also sends his angels in some form for such people because even god knows that its an age of distrust and lost hope where darkness will fall , where humanity will convert to Satan" so god has to walk the earth to save the innocent souls that show that sparkle, that enlightenment, that hope which can rekindle the essence of love and relationships.

Its a gradual process when people do ignore their loved ones if they don't see him her as someone who will get lost, so this aspect of relationship surely needs continuous caring. At this point of time I remember a film called "namesake" where one needs to say "i love u and I will always be there for you and we all need to feel that staying together till end needs that spark that magic.
Practicality at the end is the king laughing on failed and dead relationships of modern times where every life seems to be locked in a one or two bed room apartment of the congested streets where few stray dogs are barking as if saying... we will take over you humans because at least we are better trusted by you then you trust your own people. what an irony..

ISLAM at CROSSROADS OF TERRORISM

ITS a burning issue and a matter so much being discussed and talked about in last few years. I said "burning issue" because religion always meant forgiveness, love, pity, humanity and so many golden qualities of quality living. I myself got my education with so many Muslim friends for years and in my hostel life I never felt what I started feeling in last many years after 9/11 attack on America's World Trade Center.

I made effort on researching Islam and its deep impact on Muslims in Muslim world mainly about Pakistan and Afghanistan and analyzed as how 90% of Muslims actually don't follow Islam in its real glory and light. I remember when I had chats with few people in Pakistan's chat room then most of them started as friend but later started sending me site links of Islam and its teachings and almost tried to convert me. It was like every Muslim out there is on a mission of converting and inside their hearts other religions were just as evil as Satan. They presented themselves as strict followers and saviours of Islam but when I asked them if they can really stop watching TV and movies or so many modern day activities that Islam prohibits then they said if they follow all in Islam then life will be so miserable, that very moment I felt that Muslim world talks Islamic on surface but deep beneath its just handful of people who are truly Islamic. Its same with what we call "jihad" which again was and is wrongly interpreted and its effect can be seen in a very big way in the form of "Islamic terrorism" which is engulfing world cities everyday.

Recent developments in Pakistan as home to terrorists and Taliban's and Afghanistan's Taliban are the words enough to shiver any strong heart as Pakistan's nuclear weapons are almost in the hands of terrorists and its impact on the world can be easily imagined even by a fool.
So many of them and all are presenting themselves as saviour of Islam and Islamic people and its no surprise when we see people like Kasab of Mumbai - Taj terror attack or people who die of hunger and poverty falling for few penny and falsely glorified sacrifice by being human bombs which in turn will take them closer to Allah. Under deep pressure of illiteracy, poverty and deeply embedded Islamic faith lead them to killings of thousands of innocent people which includes their own people.

Muslims all over the world are facing severe crisis about their identity , dress code and styling. A best example that flashed on news was that how a Muslim family not allowed to board a flight in US due to security reasons and suspicion of their being Muslim at first place. Even in India leaders and people of this community had to come out to clarify their stand and views on religious harmony. Their effort of trying to show themselves as victim of Islamic terrorism meant that people of other religions should not label an ordinary, innocent Muslim as terrorist. In their hearts religion must have been so heavy to carry because instead of bringing peace and love it brought them hatred, suspicion and piercing eyes of other communities.

Muslims when attack mosques in a Muslim country and kill their own kind then why don't people in Muslim world realise that whom they follow in the name of Islam is actually killing Muslims too. Pakistan almost under fire of terror groups with already burning SWAT and Peshawar is every day's "BREAKING NEWS" in International media. I must say when u breed fire dragons then be ready for the day when they fire back on you.

A blind person on listening all this can understand but its tragic when people with eyes who see all this but don't try to understand that Terrorism will not affect only to their neighbours but in real burn their own houses and kill their own children in their own misinterpreted Islamic world .
Islam was founded to spread love and mercy and teach a way of life where humanity means everything. Muslim world and especially educated Muslims please try to bring change in your own ways because fire of terrorism will spread in your houses too and few flames you can already see rising.

I wrote this sensitive matter without being biased because I am at first place a human being and religion of humanity stands first.. remember that religions were never bad ...they just got infected by few bad people... even Hinduism or Christianity suffers such problems but on local levels or within a country...but for now the whole world is concerned about terrorism and its links in Pakistan and its impact on world. Every religion is equal for me because they have human beings in it.

"Maa" MOTHER the best relationship

ITS almost now more than a year, I wanted to write something on an extremely important, most lovable, most beautiful, greater than god, a relationship that every human being cherishes and cries for till they live in this world and desire it again and again if ever they are born again.

Mom's are just so amazing and even I am here writing all this because I am closest to my mom and seen her happiness, sufferings and dilemma since very beginning of my life when i was mature enough to understand her...I still remember , I think I was just 7 or 8 years old and since then I remember so much, seen so much of her.

I always think why mom's are so nice, why she bears all the pain which we deserve, why she is always ahead of everyone in the family when its about protecting the family and children....questions in this context have no limits but what I never understood and not till today when I am more than mature...why and why no one in the family , not even her own children think about her, at least they should have because she had them in her body for 9 months..gave birth, bear all the pain for 9 months and then for life until she herself sleeps forever..on this I always think..now mom's r at peace and must be now having some time for themselves in god's home, after all they never get even a sweet word in return for their so much most expensive love...we human beings forget that this is what humans have only "mother's love" that even god's envy.

Last 2 years have made me so much sensitive to my mom and even her smallest of problems never go unnoticed by me. I have seen so much that I feel none in the family ever felt that or even if they saw but didn't thought about and forgot like they forget every ordinary issue. I see , I observe may be because today I have made my emotions clear that its one life one mom..she did all for u..now do all for her even if its my absolute sacrifice and I see no big deal over my few sacrifices if I make because she sacrificed so much that even my 10 lives will fall short of. I clearly understand that children can never reach that height of love and sacrifice but least they can care for her and love her in their own small ways.

22 Dec 2008. Today I again saw mom packing my younger Bros lunch with so much enthusiasm that she had very first day a year back, since then I have seen her doing this almost everyday sending lunch to the office even when she knew that 50% of the time her cooked food was not eaten up and sent back the same way as she had packed it. Reasons me or my Bro give any but giving many reasons and excuses for not eating is so easy for us. I or Bro has to be a mom to understand how mom's heart tore when she saw herself being neglected in every possible way and that too because she wants that we fill our unworthy stomach with that so sanctified food. I remember how in her illness she cooked and packed the lunch most of the time..I felt as if packing the lunch was a celebration for her, after all the food that she cooked with so much love was for her youngest loving son. Come to first line of this para which really forced me to write today and that too now.... as soon as she packed the food, there was a call from the office that my bro is going to a party and so lunch should not be sent, that very moment I felt so much anger in me for my bro..I was justified because I have seen her with my this very own eyes..she was so much hurt every time but very next she started getting worried of his health..this only a mom can do. I murmured inside me...do chickens and tikkas of a party taste better than mom's love, even god's are not so fortunate, I am 100% sure even they dream of food from a mothers hand.. and at least in my religion"Hinduism" there are many evidences. I say evidences because mere human beings live relationships and believe in only by evidences...hahaaaa..

On many occasions when mothers are seriously not well then even daughters come up with their own excuses. Most of the time they say "no one understands how much a married daughter is under obligations and duties of her own house". She gives silly reasons to escape the one who cared for her smallest of pain and desire. None of the relationships hold that magic for me when it comes to my mom. Its painful that at the critical moments when mom needs us then we come up with our worldly obligations and duties and try to escape. I understand how much a mother feels when she doesn't find her babies around when she need them the most.

Its me too who pained my mom so much with my tantrums even if they were innocent ones but I realise all and even I am punished by god with my inner guilt where every moment my soul traumatises me and I see this ending only when I end. what can be more worse than your own consciousness from whom even I can't run away but I feel whether its me or anyone needs to be punished in some way or the other by god if they bring pain to their mom.

I must say I belong to a race which I would never like to because humanity seems so practical and smart here, after all we know how to use mothers like dustbins...throw everything bad at her and she keeps all the dirt in and keep the house clean and maintains the hygiene at the cost of her own devolution and destruction. I have seen moms destroying their very own existence for her children.

In India it is said that when a mother's heart cries then even god's cry and when her suffering is beyond god's endurance then that very moment god himself intervenes and inflicts fires of hell on such children. This very moment still mom keeps praying to god for welfare of her children and I must say, what an endurance and affection that even surpasses god's who loses his temper but "Maa" never does.

Amazing that she forgets her youthfulness, her best years of life, forgets her own dreams and becomes a wrinkled skin old lady with "silver" in hair over the years. She forgets all this for her those children who in reality deny her, ignore her for their own youth and best "golden" years of life. Children forget that one day they will also age and become a waste and they will not be punished in heaven or hell above because if they did a barbaric act of using and crushing that old lady then their sins are greater than that of Lucifer and pay for their sins in this living world which becomes their Pandemonium.

*Lucifer is a name frequently given to Satan in Christian belief

*Pandemonium; A place where all demons live

why we forget our own sayings that below every mom's feet there lies god's heaven. I think god's realise this very truth but we mortals are beyond god's understanding even. God made human beings because this race will be greatest in intelligence and emotions than every other life form but I m sure now god's must be wondering "are these humans our creations?"

I don't know of rest but my mom is my world and her tears kill me every moment, her end Will end me..sometimes I think how I will breath if she is not with me..Its like time is running away and I have to steal the moments by being with her most so that I can have my mom so much in me and may be that helps me to breath when she is not around. I know I m mad but u need to have madness to love so much like a mom does. In the world of calculated and practical emotions that every individual is mad whose emotions even reach a percentage of mom's love. I prefer the madness and whosoever reads my blog please make your mom feel greater, feel her pain, say her " I love u Maa" give her time and talk to her, don't let her finish, don't let her decay, she is the most expensive. I had tears filling my eyes so many times writing all this but then mom has shed so much tears for me..

A request that never be one to break the family and move out because we all settle down with our selfish, silly dreams in a dreamworld leaving behind that weak, fragile, heavily wrinkled aging, decaying and dying Maa. A mother's broken house breaks her every moment and even leaving the world for her heavenly abode becomes her painful journey after death... so much tragic, so much affliction...what an irony..someone so much greater than god suffers hell out here on earth.. God DON'T U GET TEARS FOR HER, DOESN'T YOUR HEART GETS TORN APART? Don't you have a "MAA?"

हम सब को ये सोचना ही होगा की क्यूँ हमारे अपने ही हमारे लिय पराये हो जातें हैं, क्यूँ वो हमे बोझ लगने लगते हैं और क्यूँ वो किसी पुराने गंदे कपडे की तरह हो जाते हैं जो किसी ज़ंग खाए हुए बक्से में रखा हुआ हो या किसी पुराने दरवाज़े के पीछे बरसों से टंगा हुआ हो । नए रिश्ते क्यूँ हमारे लिय किसी गुच्ची या अरमानी जैसे ब्रांड की तरह होते हैं जिसका दीवानापन बरसों ख़त्म नहीं होता। शायद नए रिश्तों में एक भौतिक सुख की अनुभूति जो होती है जो पुराने रिश्तों में हमे कभी नहीं मिलता। हम ये भूल जातें हैं की कभी नए भी पुराने होंगे ,कभी हमे भी अपनों से यही दर्द मिलेगा जो हम आज अपनों को दे रहे हैं। संबंधों के इस बदलते दौर में हमे कुछ पल रुक कर अपनी रूह से मुलाक़ात तो करना ही चाहिए नही तो हम में से किसी को भी अधिकार नही की बरसों बाद हम भी अपने हालात के लिय किसी अपने को दोष दें। अगर आज हम अपनी युवा अवस्था के अंधे नशे में मस्त हैं तो बरसों बाद क्यूँ शिकायत करना जब कोई अपना हमारा भी दिल तोडेगा। मुझे तो बस हँसी आती है और तरस भी जब मैं लोगों को ख़ुद को माडर्न कहते हुए सुनता हूँ क्यूंकि माडर्न होने का सही मतलब हम समझ ही नही पाते कभी। नोट: I WILL ADD OR EDIT FURTHER BECAUSE ITS ABOUT MOTHERS AND I HAVE TO HAVE EXTREME CAUTION AND CARE SO THAT I DO JUSTICE TO SUCH A BIG RELATIONSHIP..

Mumbai Shivers..the trauma continues...

59 dreadful hours of Mumbai in the hands of few hardcore terrorists was something that almost shook the entire nation and its impact even vibrated United states together with the entire world.

Last blog I wrote about Kosi's destruction in Bihar and its so unfortunate that very next I am writing about Mumbai's terror. Its so much of pain and killings that has engulfed so many innocent lives that I really have to have a tough heart to write something.

Writing on such sensitive issues is so easy but people who in real are part of these disasters know best what the pain and death is. Losing their loved one's in such incidents is life long suffering which only they know who have lost one. I almost went through the detailed reports flashing across channels and is still flashing. I saw Taj burning and heard guns roaring live on television and all that made me shiver. Its certainly unimaginable as how people inside Taj, Oberoi and Nariman house felt at the gunpoint of terrorists who kept them hostages and had fun shooting people inside.

In last 2 days entire nation seems so anti-politician and very stern in demanding a no nonsense government. Its the mood of the nation and even an ultimatum that either deliver or step down the chair of CM or PM.

Hope at least I don't see with political system which is already dead, certainly a revolution may make things right and people's reaction of "Enough is Enough" gives some hope, it shows that India is not sleeping and they know how to get justice if they are forced to suffer callous behaviour of the high-headed, bad tongue politicians who seems to be playing game with the security of the nation and its people. They forget we elect them and we can kick them down too.

I don't know if so much of blogging and discussions would solve these problems but one thing I am sure that it will certainly bring awareness to an extent and that will further bring in solutions. It takes ages to change things and resurrect the system and it will surely not happen in a day. we need to open our eyes and heart for self introspection and question that on our own level do we try to bring those changes that we expect from already rotten politicians.. U have the answer. we all have the answer...