"Maa" MOTHER the best relationship

ITS almost now more than a year, I wanted to write something on an extremely important, most lovable, most beautiful, greater than god, a relationship that every human being cherishes and cries for till they live in this world and desire it again and again if ever they are born again.

Mom's are just so amazing and even I am here writing all this because I am closest to my mom and seen her happiness, sufferings and dilemma since very beginning of my life when i was mature enough to understand her...I still remember , I think I was just 7 or 8 years old and since then I remember so much, seen so much of her.

I always think why mom's are so nice, why she bears all the pain which we deserve, why she is always ahead of everyone in the family when its about protecting the family and children....questions in this context have no limits but what I never understood and not till today when I am more than mature...why and why no one in the family , not even her own children think about her, at least they should have because she had them in her body for 9 months..gave birth, bear all the pain for 9 months and then for life until she herself sleeps forever..on this I always think..now mom's r at peace and must be now having some time for themselves in god's home, after all they never get even a sweet word in return for their so much most expensive love...we human beings forget that this is what humans have only "mother's love" that even god's envy.

Last 2 years have made me so much sensitive to my mom and even her smallest of problems never go unnoticed by me. I have seen so much that I feel none in the family ever felt that or even if they saw but didn't thought about and forgot like they forget every ordinary issue. I see , I observe may be because today I have made my emotions clear that its one life one mom..she did all for u..now do all for her even if its my absolute sacrifice and I see no big deal over my few sacrifices if I make because she sacrificed so much that even my 10 lives will fall short of. I clearly understand that children can never reach that height of love and sacrifice but least they can care for her and love her in their own small ways.

22 Dec 2008. Today I again saw mom packing my younger Bros lunch with so much enthusiasm that she had very first day a year back, since then I have seen her doing this almost everyday sending lunch to the office even when she knew that 50% of the time her cooked food was not eaten up and sent back the same way as she had packed it. Reasons me or my Bro give any but giving many reasons and excuses for not eating is so easy for us. I or Bro has to be a mom to understand how mom's heart tore when she saw herself being neglected in every possible way and that too because she wants that we fill our unworthy stomach with that so sanctified food. I remember how in her illness she cooked and packed the lunch most of the time..I felt as if packing the lunch was a celebration for her, after all the food that she cooked with so much love was for her youngest loving son. Come to first line of this para which really forced me to write today and that too now.... as soon as she packed the food, there was a call from the office that my bro is going to a party and so lunch should not be sent, that very moment I felt so much anger in me for my bro..I was justified because I have seen her with my this very own eyes..she was so much hurt every time but very next she started getting worried of his health..this only a mom can do. I murmured inside me...do chickens and tikkas of a party taste better than mom's love, even god's are not so fortunate, I am 100% sure even they dream of food from a mothers hand.. and at least in my religion"Hinduism" there are many evidences. I say evidences because mere human beings live relationships and believe in only by evidences...hahaaaa..

On many occasions when mothers are seriously not well then even daughters come up with their own excuses. Most of the time they say "no one understands how much a married daughter is under obligations and duties of her own house". She gives silly reasons to escape the one who cared for her smallest of pain and desire. None of the relationships hold that magic for me when it comes to my mom. Its painful that at the critical moments when mom needs us then we come up with our worldly obligations and duties and try to escape. I understand how much a mother feels when she doesn't find her babies around when she need them the most.

Its me too who pained my mom so much with my tantrums even if they were innocent ones but I realise all and even I am punished by god with my inner guilt where every moment my soul traumatises me and I see this ending only when I end. what can be more worse than your own consciousness from whom even I can't run away but I feel whether its me or anyone needs to be punished in some way or the other by god if they bring pain to their mom.

I must say I belong to a race which I would never like to because humanity seems so practical and smart here, after all we know how to use mothers like dustbins...throw everything bad at her and she keeps all the dirt in and keep the house clean and maintains the hygiene at the cost of her own devolution and destruction. I have seen moms destroying their very own existence for her children.

In India it is said that when a mother's heart cries then even god's cry and when her suffering is beyond god's endurance then that very moment god himself intervenes and inflicts fires of hell on such children. This very moment still mom keeps praying to god for welfare of her children and I must say, what an endurance and affection that even surpasses god's who loses his temper but "Maa" never does.

Amazing that she forgets her youthfulness, her best years of life, forgets her own dreams and becomes a wrinkled skin old lady with "silver" in hair over the years. She forgets all this for her those children who in reality deny her, ignore her for their own youth and best "golden" years of life. Children forget that one day they will also age and become a waste and they will not be punished in heaven or hell above because if they did a barbaric act of using and crushing that old lady then their sins are greater than that of Lucifer and pay for their sins in this living world which becomes their Pandemonium.

*Lucifer is a name frequently given to Satan in Christian belief

*Pandemonium; A place where all demons live

why we forget our own sayings that below every mom's feet there lies god's heaven. I think god's realise this very truth but we mortals are beyond god's understanding even. God made human beings because this race will be greatest in intelligence and emotions than every other life form but I m sure now god's must be wondering "are these humans our creations?"

I don't know of rest but my mom is my world and her tears kill me every moment, her end Will end me..sometimes I think how I will breath if she is not with me..Its like time is running away and I have to steal the moments by being with her most so that I can have my mom so much in me and may be that helps me to breath when she is not around. I know I m mad but u need to have madness to love so much like a mom does. In the world of calculated and practical emotions that every individual is mad whose emotions even reach a percentage of mom's love. I prefer the madness and whosoever reads my blog please make your mom feel greater, feel her pain, say her " I love u Maa" give her time and talk to her, don't let her finish, don't let her decay, she is the most expensive. I had tears filling my eyes so many times writing all this but then mom has shed so much tears for me..

A request that never be one to break the family and move out because we all settle down with our selfish, silly dreams in a dreamworld leaving behind that weak, fragile, heavily wrinkled aging, decaying and dying Maa. A mother's broken house breaks her every moment and even leaving the world for her heavenly abode becomes her painful journey after death... so much tragic, so much affliction...what an irony..someone so much greater than god suffers hell out here on earth.. God DON'T U GET TEARS FOR HER, DOESN'T YOUR HEART GETS TORN APART? Don't you have a "MAA?"

हम सब को ये सोचना ही होगा की क्यूँ हमारे अपने ही हमारे लिय पराये हो जातें हैं, क्यूँ वो हमे बोझ लगने लगते हैं और क्यूँ वो किसी पुराने गंदे कपडे की तरह हो जाते हैं जो किसी ज़ंग खाए हुए बक्से में रखा हुआ हो या किसी पुराने दरवाज़े के पीछे बरसों से टंगा हुआ हो । नए रिश्ते क्यूँ हमारे लिय किसी गुच्ची या अरमानी जैसे ब्रांड की तरह होते हैं जिसका दीवानापन बरसों ख़त्म नहीं होता। शायद नए रिश्तों में एक भौतिक सुख की अनुभूति जो होती है जो पुराने रिश्तों में हमे कभी नहीं मिलता। हम ये भूल जातें हैं की कभी नए भी पुराने होंगे ,कभी हमे भी अपनों से यही दर्द मिलेगा जो हम आज अपनों को दे रहे हैं। संबंधों के इस बदलते दौर में हमे कुछ पल रुक कर अपनी रूह से मुलाक़ात तो करना ही चाहिए नही तो हम में से किसी को भी अधिकार नही की बरसों बाद हम भी अपने हालात के लिय किसी अपने को दोष दें। अगर आज हम अपनी युवा अवस्था के अंधे नशे में मस्त हैं तो बरसों बाद क्यूँ शिकायत करना जब कोई अपना हमारा भी दिल तोडेगा। मुझे तो बस हँसी आती है और तरस भी जब मैं लोगों को ख़ुद को माडर्न कहते हुए सुनता हूँ क्यूंकि माडर्न होने का सही मतलब हम समझ ही नही पाते कभी। नोट: I WILL ADD OR EDIT FURTHER BECAUSE ITS ABOUT MOTHERS AND I HAVE TO HAVE EXTREME CAUTION AND CARE SO THAT I DO JUSTICE TO SUCH A BIG RELATIONSHIP..

Mumbai Shivers..the trauma continues...

59 dreadful hours of Mumbai in the hands of few hardcore terrorists was something that almost shook the entire nation and its impact even vibrated United states together with the entire world.

Last blog I wrote about Kosi's destruction in Bihar and its so unfortunate that very next I am writing about Mumbai's terror. Its so much of pain and killings that has engulfed so many innocent lives that I really have to have a tough heart to write something.

Writing on such sensitive issues is so easy but people who in real are part of these disasters know best what the pain and death is. Losing their loved one's in such incidents is life long suffering which only they know who have lost one. I almost went through the detailed reports flashing across channels and is still flashing. I saw Taj burning and heard guns roaring live on television and all that made me shiver. Its certainly unimaginable as how people inside Taj, Oberoi and Nariman house felt at the gunpoint of terrorists who kept them hostages and had fun shooting people inside.

In last 2 days entire nation seems so anti-politician and very stern in demanding a no nonsense government. Its the mood of the nation and even an ultimatum that either deliver or step down the chair of CM or PM.

Hope at least I don't see with political system which is already dead, certainly a revolution may make things right and people's reaction of "Enough is Enough" gives some hope, it shows that India is not sleeping and they know how to get justice if they are forced to suffer callous behaviour of the high-headed, bad tongue politicians who seems to be playing game with the security of the nation and its people. They forget we elect them and we can kick them down too.

I don't know if so much of blogging and discussions would solve these problems but one thing I am sure that it will certainly bring awareness to an extent and that will further bring in solutions. It takes ages to change things and resurrect the system and it will surely not happen in a day. we need to open our eyes and heart for self introspection and question that on our own level do we try to bring those changes that we expect from already rotten politicians.. U have the answer. we all have the answer...

FURY of KOSI

KOSI river has brought people of Bihar in a state of turmoil that even I am lacking on right words to describe this huge, wide spread destruction engulfing almost major part of North Bihar. Even I am confused as where to start with my writing on this extremely sensitive and heart breaking incident. Millions of people have become homeless and displaced trying every moment to survive the fury of river Kosi. Few days back I came across a blog on this very issue written by a film star Manoj Bajpayee and then I realised how its impact has reached to people's heart but I knew He is from Bihar so he feels people's pain but I wonder if rest of India is really worried about us here...I have seen in media and during my stay in New Delhi for so many years that how people hate us and what they think of us. I still remember one of my flat owner once asked me " is it true that people of Bihar are labours and its crime everywhere? " I was shocked and felt bad as how can he think of us like that. How can people form opinion without seeing the realities here...later we all know about Bihari's being kicked out of Mumbai...so its very rare that any one is worried or may be only handful of people out there are concerned....recently I was watching television with news flashing "if Bihar is really not a part of India " so true I must say, we have been isolated and alienated and left with nothing but poverty of lowest order...I am a Bihari and proud to be one but I wonder what future lies ahead with nothing happening better....poverty and illiteracy remains the core issue to be solved and after Kosi's fury ends I hope people realise that at the end of the day casteism,religion and ignorance with innocence of illiteracy and poverty will take them nowhere but to Kosi like furies. I must say we need a revolution here to awaken people to realise that they are human beings and not puppets with whom politicians can play in the name of "GARIB RALLY and GARIB RAILAA..." Please my Bihari brothers and sisters understand or its too late.....OCT. 1, 2008 11:43PM After so many weeks news flashed across t.v channels that flood is receding and I myself relaxed that at least now people will have some relief. Every flood and such disasters end up with the beginning of diseases such as diarrhea, gastroenteritis and malaria on a large scale. I really get angry with god sometimes that after such a length of sufferings poor people are again inflicted or rather bombarded with another set of horrors of killer diseases with almost no medical facility and forget about rehabilitation. This all I saw across news channels that there were almost few doctors available and how local politicians started delicious menus for flood victims in their camps trying too woo them for their vote banks. I also came across an editorial in Hindustan newspaper that this whole process badly discouraged many NGOs working at camps because people were no more interested in their plain menus when compared with those delicious food items. It wasn't their fault either as they had seen so much that they have to fall for that false and fraud helping hands. The main problem with this whole process is that if politicians start the very act in every such adverse situations then there will be few or no NGOs. Money is pouring in from across the nation with so many helping hands, I just hope that help reaches to every individual who have lost their home, their loved ones, who have nothing more to lose. Lastly before I end this I would say its the most degraded form of human act where many shameless people attacked and looted these poor, helpless flood victims. That time a line came to my mind " जिनका सब कुछ लूट चुका है उनसे ये बदमाश क्या लूटने आए हैं ?". We see on TV and we get tears and those few people see everything live and real and still have the heart to murder humanity so easily...kudos

Suffocating Socities World Over October 30, 2005

Being loner since childhood I was always an observer observing people since I remember and see so much of foolishness in each of us. It's we who are responsible for our own tragedies and crises. Either enlighten your thoughts for a new beginning, a new dawn or someday yourself face those road-blocks. I have seen and learnt to perfect myself each day with each new lessons of life. I try not to force my perception in as everyone has their own and everyone is born to live their own dreams.

Any individual follows certain way of life and may be we like it or not or even if we like it it's mostly because we grow up in such environment practising all from our very childhood so it's deeply embedded. Other societies or any individual outside may not approve of others ways of life or thoughts as it may be evil or not justified for them. I always felt that we can analyze issues only within the limits of our own knowledge and thoughts. It's always one's enlightenment and farsightedness not amalgamated with any prejudice to make every life better.

We suffocate or develop liking like zombies for forced or already accepted prevailing societal laws and patterns without questions. If we just get serious only a day and analyze people living around us and we see we all are so superficial and false controlling others ways of living. Everyday in the print and electronic media we see many real life examples of such society care takers(irony) - an adult man or a woman gets married to his/her choice and these caretakers oppose this and to do this they go beyond human rights and sometimes resulting in life threatening incidents and all this for so petty reasons. Imagine that most of these caretakers keep mistresses not 1 but 2 or 3 and even they may have been keeping an eye on the women in their area of self declared authority and I know many such people in my town too. We can see unlimited issues around with many different forms of forced control.
Its futile and waste of time when we talk and debate on issues of women empowerment, human rights, LGBT, sexuality, freedom, hunger, poverty and many other bold strong but real issues. Sometimes even I feel that these discussions are more of high-society's fake fashionable statements in media but I see that there is always something good hidden even in the most evil thing. As hope never dies and even a ray of light in the dead darkness is enough to enlighten. These superficial debates & discussions certainly bring awareness & give rise to a few heroes who fight for people for truth, for humanity. At last we all have to give people the freedom to live and think the way one desires and world is certainly moving that way slowly accepting transitions so why not we all start today as even we all are the complainants at a point of time on issues that matters to us so try understanding others freedom too. If we make people suffocate then next it's our turn too so have caution. It's easy complaining than understanding and becoming a change.

DOGS r better--------------28 oct 2005

                                                           DIEGO PICTURE

Dogs as pets have proved their loyalty and companionship to us for ages without any exaggeration and will continue to do so forever. Thanks to relationship crisis because at least we got to discover our love for animals besides only using them as guard or pleasure pets. Its unfortunate that after so much of sufferings that destiny designs for them we continue doing the worst by adding more to their sufferings.

I love my dog very much and he is 3 yrs old but I have tears filling my eyes at the thought of its life of may be 12 years. I fear if ever he leaves me. I remember when on few occasions it ran away from my house, I got so much worried and suffocated without him. His love is so much greater than human beings because he can only love me without any mask which we all use to cover our torn evil faces and play so easily with each other. It's the responsibility of the new generation, the time is theirs to care for this beautiful world for a better tomorrow and smile for animals too and do get worried for their pain. On doing all this one can feel the humanity and greatness within. we have to have a broader view on every issue around us with positive approach.

Once when my family was ready to throw my dog out of the house because he attacked me, that whole night I couldn't sleep. It was not because of the pain of the wound but it was the sheer pain at the thought of separation from my dog. The same night I made my choice and it was that even if I am killed by my dog then I want my family not to hurt this so lovely animal. I knew that if we can keep swinging our moods then why not these animals, may be it was frustrated or in a state of mind where it made that mistake. I was very right because after that my dog didn't eat and looked very sad. He kept staring at me out of guilt and his eyes made me feel his guilt. he knew he did wrong and kept licking my wound for next 4-5 days.. I was more happy that at least he knew he was wrong and in real loves me so much.

Every time I see around and I see people either don't regret about their faults and even if they regret then its not so instant and it's mostly out of selfish reasons related to needs of networking. So dogs are better.