ITS almost now more than a year, I wanted to write something on an extremely important, most lovable, most beautiful, greater than god, a relationship that every human being cherishes and cries for till they live in this world and desire it again and again if ever they are born again.
Mom's are just so amazing and even I am here writing all this because I am closest to my mom and seen her happiness, sufferings and dilemma since very beginning of my life when i was mature enough to understand her...I still remember , I think I was just 7 or 8 years old and since then I remember so much, seen so much of her.
I always think why mom's are so nice, why she bears all the pain which we deserve, why she is always ahead of everyone in the family when its about protecting the family and children....questions in this context have no limits but what I never understood and not till today when I am more than mature...why and why no one in the family , not even her own children think about her, at least they should have because she had them in her body for 9 months..gave birth, bear all the pain for 9 months and then for life until she herself sleeps forever..on this I always think..now mom's r at peace and must be now having some time for themselves in god's home, after all they never get even a sweet word in return for their so much most expensive love...we human beings forget that this is what humans have only "mother's love" that even god's envy.
Last 2 years have made me so much sensitive to my mom and even her smallest of problems never go unnoticed by me. I have seen so much that I feel none in the family ever felt that or even if they saw but didn't thought about and forgot like they forget every ordinary issue. I see , I observe may be because today I have made my emotions clear that its one life one mom..she did all for u..now do all for her even if its my absolute sacrifice and I see no big deal over my few sacrifices if I make because she sacrificed so much that even my 10 lives will fall short of. I clearly understand that children can never reach that height of love and sacrifice but least they can care for her and love her in their own small ways.
22 Dec 2008. Today I again saw mom packing my younger Bros lunch with so much enthusiasm that she had very first day a year back, since then I have seen her doing this almost everyday sending lunch to the office even when she knew that 50% of the time her cooked food was not eaten up and sent back the same way as she had packed it. Reasons me or my Bro give any but giving many reasons and excuses for not eating is so easy for us. I or Bro has to be a mom to understand how mom's heart tore when she saw herself being neglected in every possible way and that too because she wants that we fill our unworthy stomach with that so sanctified food. I remember how in her illness she cooked and packed the lunch most of the time..I felt as if packing the lunch was a celebration for her, after all the food that she cooked with so much love was for her youngest loving son. Come to first line of this para which really forced me to write today and that too now.... as soon as she packed the food, there was a call from the office that my bro is going to a party and so lunch should not be sent, that very moment I felt so much anger in me for my bro..I was justified because I have seen her with my this very own eyes..she was so much hurt every time but very next she started getting worried of his health..this only a mom can do. I murmured inside me...do chickens and tikkas of a party taste better than mom's love, even god's are not so fortunate, I am 100% sure even they dream of food from a mothers hand.. and at least in my religion"Hinduism" there are many evidences. I say evidences because mere human beings live relationships and believe in only by evidences...hahaaaa..
On many occasions when mothers are seriously not well then even daughters come up with their own excuses. Most of the time they say "no one understands how much a married daughter is under obligations and duties of her own house". She gives silly reasons to escape the one who cared for her smallest of pain and desire. None of the relationships hold that magic for me when it comes to my mom. Its painful that at the critical moments when mom needs us then we come up with our worldly obligations and duties and try to escape. I understand how much a mother feels when she doesn't find her babies around when she need them the most.
Its me too who pained my mom so much with my tantrums even if they were innocent ones but I realise all and even I am punished by god with my inner guilt where every moment my soul traumatises me and I see this ending only when I end. what can be more worse than your own consciousness from whom even I can't run away but I feel whether its me or anyone needs to be punished in some way or the other by god if they bring pain to their mom.
I must say I belong to a race which I would never like to because humanity seems so practical and smart here, after all we know how to use mothers like dustbins...throw everything bad at her and she keeps all the dirt in and keep the house clean and maintains the hygiene at the cost of her own devolution and destruction. I have seen moms destroying their very own existence for her children.
In India it is said that when a mother's heart cries then even god's cry and when her suffering is beyond god's endurance then that very moment god himself intervenes and inflicts fires of hell on such children. This very moment still mom keeps praying to god for welfare of her children and I must say, what an endurance and affection that even surpasses god's who loses his temper but "Maa" never does.
Amazing that she forgets her youthfulness, her best years of life, forgets her own dreams and becomes a wrinkled skin old lady with "silver" in hair over the years. She forgets all this for her those children who in reality deny her, ignore her for their own youth and best "golden" years of life. Children forget that one day they will also age and become a waste and they will not be punished in heaven or hell above because if they did a barbaric act of using and crushing that old lady then their sins are greater than that of Lucifer and pay for their sins in this living world which becomes their Pandemonium.
*Lucifer is a name frequently given to Satan in Christian belief
*Pandemonium; A place where all demons live
why we forget our own sayings that below every mom's feet there lies god's heaven. I think god's realise this very truth but we mortals are beyond god's understanding even. God made human beings because this race will be greatest in intelligence and emotions than every other life form but I m sure now god's must be wondering "are these humans our creations?"
I don't know of rest but my mom is my world and her tears kill me every moment, her end Will end me..sometimes I think how I will breath if she is not with me..Its like time is running away and I have to steal the moments by being with her most so that I can have my mom so much in me and may be that helps me to breath when she is not around. I know I m mad but u need to have madness to love so much like a mom does. In the world of calculated and practical emotions that every individual is mad whose emotions even reach a percentage of mom's love. I prefer the madness and whosoever reads my blog please make your mom feel greater, feel her pain, say her " I love u Maa" give her time and talk to her, don't let her finish, don't let her decay, she is the most expensive. I had tears filling my eyes so many times writing all this but then mom has shed so much tears for me..
A request that never be one to break the family and move out because we all settle down with our selfish, silly dreams in a dreamworld leaving behind that weak, fragile, heavily wrinkled aging, decaying and dying Maa. A mother's broken house breaks her every moment and even leaving the world for her heavenly abode becomes her painful journey after death... so much tragic, so much affliction...what an irony..someone so much greater than god suffers hell out here on earth.. God DON'T U GET TEARS FOR HER, DOESN'T YOUR HEART GETS TORN APART? Don't you have a "MAA?"
हम सब को ये सोचना ही होगा की क्यूँ हमारे अपने ही हमारे लिय पराये हो जातें हैं, क्यूँ वो हमे बोझ लगने लगते हैं और क्यूँ वो किसी पुराने गंदे कपडे की तरह हो जाते हैं जो किसी ज़ंग खाए हुए बक्से में रखा हुआ हो या किसी पुराने दरवाज़े के पीछे बरसों से टंगा हुआ हो । नए रिश्ते क्यूँ हमारे लिय किसी गुच्ची या अरमानी जैसे ब्रांड की तरह होते हैं जिसका दीवानापन बरसों ख़त्म नहीं होता। शायद नए रिश्तों में एक भौतिक सुख की अनुभूति जो होती है जो पुराने रिश्तों में हमे कभी नहीं मिलता। हम ये भूल जातें हैं की कभी नए भी पुराने होंगे ,कभी हमे भी अपनों से यही दर्द मिलेगा जो हम आज अपनों को दे रहे हैं। संबंधों के इस बदलते दौर में हमे कुछ पल रुक कर अपनी रूह से मुलाक़ात तो करना ही चाहिए नही तो हम में से किसी को भी अधिकार नही की बरसों बाद हम भी अपने हालात के लिय किसी अपने को दोष दें। अगर आज हम अपनी युवा अवस्था के अंधे नशे में मस्त हैं तो बरसों बाद क्यूँ शिकायत करना जब कोई अपना हमारा भी दिल तोडेगा। मुझे तो बस हँसी आती है और तरस भी जब मैं लोगों को ख़ुद को माडर्न कहते हुए सुनता हूँ क्यूंकि माडर्न होने का सही मतलब हम समझ ही नही पाते कभी। नोट: I WILL ADD OR EDIT FURTHER BECAUSE ITS ABOUT MOTHERS AND I HAVE TO HAVE EXTREME CAUTION AND CARE SO THAT I DO JUSTICE TO SUCH A BIG RELATIONSHIP..
